Ah, humans. A species so remarkably below-average that one can’t help but marvel at their misplaced sense of importance. These peculiar beings hail from a small planet called Earth—a planet that, by galactic standards, is about as noteworthy as a speck of dust in an otherwise pristine room. Orbiting an unremarkable star in a sleepy corner of the Milky Way, Earth is the kind of place that most intelligent beings would pass by without so much as a second thought. Yet somehow, against all odds, the creatures who inhabit this insignificant rock have managed to pique the curiosity of some in the universal community. Not because they’re impressive, mind you, but because they are, quite frankly, hilariously idiotic.

Donald Trump, prime example of human idiocy

Humans are, in the most generous of terms, semi-sentient beings. They occupy one of the lowest rungs on the Universal Intelligence Scale, just a step above amoebas but comfortably below anything that could be considered truly intelligent. Despite this, they possess an almost admirable—if entirely delusional—belief in their own greatness. This, dear reader, is what makes them such delightful subjects of observation. Picture, if you will, creatures that are unable to stop indiscriminately killing each other, yet confidently believe that they will one day unravel the mysteries of the universe. It’s like watching a toddler attempt to pilot a spaceship—completely hopeless, but oh-so entertaining.

The universe, as seen by a human

From their bizarre customs to their laughably primitive intelligence, humans never fail to provide us with a steady stream of cosmic comedy. They have an inexplicable habit of creating problems for themselves, only to then pat themselves on the back for coming up with solutions that are, at best, half-baked. Whether it’s their futile attempts to simply stop killing their planet or their never-ending quest for happiness (a concept they don’t seem to understand), humans are nothing if not a constant source of amusement. Indeed, they are the universe’s greatest unintentional comedians.

So, here’s to humans! Without their ceaseless buffoonery, the universe would have no one to laugh at.