Here at HumaNews, we take an unflinching look at the universe’s most absurd species—humans. Our mission? To chronicle the bizarre, misguided, and hilariously self-important antics of the human race for the entertainment of enlightened beings everywhere.

There’s nothing quite as entertaining as a species that genuinely believes it’s the pinnacle of intelligence, all while routinely proving otherwise. Humans are a delightful blend of pure egomania, laughable problem-solving skills, and an impressive ability to ignore the glaringly obvious. It’s a cosmic comedy that we simply can’t resist sharing.

Our dedicated journalists sift through the chaos and confusion of human life. We are not here to offer humanity our guidance—no, that would be futile. Instead, we are here to observe, to marvel, and, most importantly, to laugh. Our advanced readers know that the value of humanity lies not in their contributions to the cosmic order (because, obviously, there are none), but in the unparalleled entertainment they provide through their relentless stupidity.

Whether it’s their frantic quests for power, their baffling social hierarchies, or their strange obsession with collecting money, humans never fail to amaze us with their creativity in screwing themselves. Our team of observers is dedicated to bringing you the best of human absurdity, highlighting the moments that showcase their unique incompetence.

So, if you’ve ever wondered how a species that struggles to master the basics of existence could be so confident in their “intelligence”, you’ve come to the right place. Join us as we pull back the curtain on the comedy that is human civilization. Here at HumaNews, we promise to keep you informed, amused, and surely thankful that you’re not one of them.