Greetings, enlightened beings! Today, I bring you yet another perplexing episode of “What the Fuck is Wrong With Humans?” featuring one of their most illogical and anti-human pastimes: racism. Racism is the inexplicable phenomenon of humans sorting and ranking each other based on their skin color—as if that somehow makes any sense. Spoiler alert: it obviously doesn’t.

Imagine, if you will, a species that has made incredible strides in science, technology, and the arts. They’ve split the atom, they’ve landed on their moon, and they even have small electronic rectangles in their pockets that connect them to nearly every piece of human information in existence—yet, incredibly, they still manage to discriminate against each other because of melanin. Yes, dear reader, the chemical compound found in human skin that protects them from the harmful rays of their own star is somehow a defining factor in their social hierarchy. You can’t make this shit up.

Take the case of the United States, a country that is, for some reason, often considered the bastion of progress. This place is basically a large collection of humans with skin tones ranging from pale peach to deep brown. You’d think that’d be seen as a triumph of genetic diversity, but nope! Instead, they created an entire system to keep those with darker skin—referred to as “Black” humans—at the bottom of society. They enslaved them for centuries, and since they finally had to let them go, they’ve spent the next several generations trying to ensure they remained marginalized, restricted, and disempowered.

And don’t even get me started on the “Jim Crow” era—a time when Black American humans were legally forced to use separate bathrooms, schools, and even drinking fountains. That’s right, even access to the primary ingredient in human’s squishy bodies was legally segregated. Apparently, the fear was that sharing water might somehow infect white people with an imagined disease called “equality.” And though segregation was outlawed decades ago, systemic racism remains ever-present, like some easily curable disease they refuse to eradicate.

White supremacists today, still desperately trying to convince people of their assumed “superiority”

That brings us to the ongoing issue of police brutality. Now, you might wonder what this “police brutality” is. Allow me to explain: humans have a group called “the police,” whose job is theoretically to enforce laws and protect human life. However, a disturbing trend has emerged where these police habitually use excessive and often lethal force, particularly against people with darker skin.

The murder of George Floyd in 2020 was a pivotal moment that laid bare the racism ingrained in American law enforcement. Floyd, a Black man, was killed when a police officer knelt on his neck for over nine minutes, despite Floyd’s desperate pleas that he couldn’t breathe. You read that right, nine minutes. Imagine a supposed protector becoming an executioner for no reason other than perceived superiority. This horrific incident sparked global protests under the banner of “Black Lives Matter,” a movement that had been gaining momentum for years. Yet, despite the widespread outcry, many degenerate humans still responded with the counter-slogan “All Lives Matter,” missing the point entirely. It’s as if someone were trying to put out a house fire, and their self-consumed neighbor whined, “But what about my house?!” even though their house wasn’t on fire.

One might think that in the year 2024, humans would have figured out that there’s no scientific basis for racism. DNA, the genetic material that encodes all their traits, is 99.9% identical across all humans—and that measly 0.1%? It affects all sorts of random things like hair texture and eye shape, but it’s the melanin that really seems to irk them. This tiny variation is so insignificant that it’s laughable to consider it a basis for discrimination. Yet, despite this overwhelming scientific evidence, humans continue to focus on that infinitesimal difference as if it somehow dictates the worth of a person. For a species that prides itself on logic and reason, humans sure have a knack for ignoring facts when they don’t align with their preconceived notions. But then again, these brainiacs are authors of such hits as “The Earth Is Flat,” “Evolution Isn’t Real,” and “I Did My Own Research.”

The diversity of humanity

Now, here’s the grand irony: the humans who peddle racism consider themselves superior to those they oppress. They cling to a delusional belief that lighter skin somehow equates to higher intelligence, better morals, or greater capability. But let me tell you what true superiority would look like—being a decent human being, one who respects others, shows compassion, and uplifts those around them. The practitioners of racism, in their hatred and insecurity, are actually revealing their inferiority. Their obsession with skin color betrays a deep weakness, an inability to see beyond superficial traits, and a refusal to acknowledge the shared humanity that binds them all. True superiority in humanity is not about the shade of one’s skin; it is about the content of one’s character. The individuals who demonstrate kindness, empathy, and a commitment to justice are the ones who elevate the human race.

Meanwhile, those who cling to hatred and prejudice are effectively lowering themselves, chaining their potential to the most primitive of instincts. They may shout about their superiority, but their actions show that they are, in fact, enslaved by their own inferiority. It’s mind-boggling, really. The idea that someone might have a different shade of skin sends them into a frenzy of irrational hatred. The fact that they’re all breathing the same oxygen, paying taxes to the same government, and scrolling the same TikTok videos somehow isn’t enough for them to see each other as equals. The cognitive dissonance is staggering.

Racism is yet another ridiculous contradiction in the human experience. They are a species capable of love, kindness, and astonishing creativity. Yet a large number of them choose to focus their energy on arbitrary divisions that only serve to tear themselves apart. The truth is, the humans who practice racism are not superior at all; they prove themselves inferior through their own hatred and small-mindedness. Maybe one day they’ll realize that true greatness lies in their capacity for empathy, their ability to connect, and their willingness to learn from one another. Diversity is what makes their species beautiful, not something to be feared.